Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
