I feel like abortions should bother me more
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize