Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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