she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
