Umm I'm too high to move.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
