just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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