my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
