ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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