My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize