rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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