are you so shy because you have an std?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
