just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
