I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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