My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
