margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
