apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
