i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
