is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
