goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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