I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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