got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
