also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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