it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
