Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
