did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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