Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
