perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
