WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
