Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
