why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think people are normalizing furries
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
