Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
