You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't deserve a penis
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
