How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
smell my finger.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
