Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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