Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
