I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
