so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
