i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
