She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
