Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
