if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I AM VODKA MAN
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
