I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
