I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
