I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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