I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Alive.
So much puke
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
