She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
