I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
