this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
