The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
im on a boat
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