She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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