Define "chronic" masturbator.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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