How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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