But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
