ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
