Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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