what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
