Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
