I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
