My brain says no but my pants say off.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
