is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
