I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
