my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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