Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
