I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
