I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You are the jesus of drinking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
