So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
