that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
