drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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