whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
