If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Mom said you looked used
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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