i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What a dumb baby whore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize