You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
