He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
