And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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