i just had sex bonerless
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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