She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
