dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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