i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
