Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
