After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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