WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
