You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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